The Legacy of Abuse Is handed down From Generation to Generation

The legacy of domestic abuse is handed down from generation to generation until someone in the chain decides to break the chain. When a child sees and is the product of domestic abuse that child grows up to either abuse, or expect to be abused. It is learned from the cradle and continues until the grave which most times is quick.

 My three children say me abused by their father, both of my daughters wound up in abusive relationships one daughter was in more than one. My son was conflicted for a long time until he found the woman who became his wife. They never understood that love is not about being hit or punched or called names.

   They didn’t understand that when a person really loves another person they don’t hurt that person. Love is not about control, beatings, mental abuse, or emotional abuse. Love is about letting the person you love grow, and become well rounded.

     Abusers know how to trick their families they know how to manipulate and twist the facts to their own advantage. Children see this behavior and believe that it is an accepted way of life. IF they see no onther behavior in the family they grow up to become either abusers or abused. Their children see it and  the beat goes on and on.

      Domestic abuse is not about anger. It is about control. The abuser controls the spouse and the children by any means necessary. The children are trained to walk that fine line between being hit, yelled at and ignored. They like the spouse learn that nothing they can say or do will make any difference. The abuser will abuse simply because they can.

       Children love their abusive parent but they also hate them. They hate their abused parent because they don’t understand why that parent can’t or won’t get out. They are to young to understand that abuse is a slow process and once the abused is locked in it is hard to get out. Sometimes – most times it is impossible to get out. The abuser uses the children as weapons in order to keep the spouse in line. They threaten to kill the children or take them away. They threaten the abused with calls to Child Protective Services. They threaten to  cut off communication with other family members.

     Children learn this and they also learn how to use those weapons. If you are an abused spouse and you are tired of putting your children at risk. now is the time to get out. Find a friend or a family member who will listen and who will help you to get out. IT won’t be easy but it will save your children’s future. It will also save their lives and yours.